Friday, August 31, 2007
Of all the traits of mine that could be improved/changed, the one that is most painfully obvious is that I have no motivation to do selfless things/I lose motivation in doing selfless things. Labels: glum
Take last Sunday's volunteer activity for example. I was informed about it like 1 week+ ago. I only decided to go for it like 2 days before the actual activity. And that was only after friends reminded me about it. And I was only remotely interested to do it cause my friends were going to do it too.
Not that having such a reason as 'I'm doing it cause my friends are doing it' is bad, in fact the only reason I joined TOG was cause of that exact same reason. It's just that I feel doing charitable acts or acts of goodwill should only be done with the best of intentions. God knows I only did it cause my friends were doing it and I'm getting CCA points outta it.
In the name of brutal honesty, I am a selfish person. As all human beings are by nature, though many grow to be selfless. I know I have much to learn in the ways of doing good for others outside of my family.
Keeping the swirling thoughts to a minimum,
Brian Thomas Lim
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Flying fox is so much more fun with a little boost, dontcha think? So that was part of the night walk our class had during our chalet. We walked to pasir ris park from our chalet at downtown east and sampled all the features the park had (spider webs, slides). Well, chalet was quite fun even though only 8 people went for it. Then again, having more people would have made coordinating everything very much harder. 
So thank you everyone who went for the chalet! I had soooo much fun!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
The coldness, it grips me.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Bad news: MIEC last question was a horror. I really should pick up my pace when doing exams, a minor screw up and everything goes haywire. What's done is done anyway. Whether I get an A or not... I'll leave that to the man up there.
Good news: The demoralising paper only affected my day, not other exams. Whew.
Bourne Ultimatum was great. Realistic yet brilliant. You all should go and watch it. Between malcom's confused looks and ariana's squealing at every cool thing Jason bourne did, I enjoyed myself too. Great way to let off steam from a particularly disappointing paper.
Holidays. Wow. It didn't seem and it wasn't too long ago that I was aching to start poly life. I end this semester not with an aching to start the holidays, but with a slight longing for the company of school friends. They've been great.
So anyway. Holidays= Church, BA stuff, overseas hol?
First things first. Sleep.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Aw man. If that isn't the saddest/sweetest thing you have seen in animation, you've seen pretty depressing things.
If you don't get it, go read the comments.
Made mistakes, did the math. I should be able to get A. Should.
Yet again have I overslept my nap. I just dozed past my alarm clock and slept on for 2 hours. It's very refreshing though and I ain't really complaining.
Studying MIEC then OB. Then OB again tomorrow morning.
Thank God there's only 2 papers left, any more and I might just pull my hair out.
Asking for endurance for 2 more days,
Brian Thomas Lim
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
CIP. Meh. Might as well not have memorise anything for that, most of my answers were made up during exam. It's not as if they are sub-standard answers, my answers are valid nonetheless but it's just common sense.
Oh wells, over with that memory work horror anyways. Bstats is in 9 hours time and I still haven't slept yet. Wish me all the luck, I want A/AD for this module.
Wishing all TF01/02 students a fresh frame of mind for the remaining papers,
Brian Thomas Lim
Monday, August 20, 2007
Those 4 stacks are what I'm depending on to get through exams. Most contain handouts given by lecturers and some have notes which I personally wrote to condense some information. Given that tomorrow afternoon I have CIP exam, you would expect me to have mugged for CIP this whole day. Nope, spent it studying the other modules. I haven't even started yet, at this point in time (8.23pm). My short-term memory work is really short term, so I'm picking an ideal time to study. Which is after writing this post. Oh and I'm taking a gamble. I'm only studying what my CIP lecturer told us was relevant. Which simply was the last few chapters. I'm really not sure if he had seen the actual exam paper, so I'm really taking a risk here. Though many of the people i quizzed are doing the same thing, heh. I look forward to finishing the exams, so slacking without guilt can be possible. I mean really, the past 2 weeks weren't intense with mugging at all. You could say it's a mix of arrogance and consistency which led to me not studying every single day of the study break. But oh well, I'm not complaining. What's done is done and I oughta just do what I've been doing for all exams; go into it with a 'I know everything' mentality. After all, confidence is most important once you step into that exam hall. Sleep early everybody! Nobody needs panda eyes or a sketchy brain in in an exam hall. Dreading possible mental blocks in exams, Brian Thomas Lim
From left to right: Computing and Information Processing, Business Statistics, Organisational Behaviour and Microeconomics.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
That's how my brain felt when I rush-mug through OB. Actually, it was more of a reconnaissance, just seeing what had to be absorbed for OB later on (the real memory work is done like a day before).
Honestly speaking though, it's alright as I think exams wouldn't ask in-depth questions from the book. So basically... informed crapping. Yep.
And a word of caution to those taking OB. I am pretty sure reading the notes provided will not be sufficient for exams. For crying out loud, it's mostly in point form! Where's the thorough explanation gonna come from? Did Robert House donate you his brain?
I'm gonna finish re-reading MIEC notes tomorrow. Then I'll look through all the past year exam questions I've done. Ultimately, confidence will bring the answers out of me. Hope ya'll have confidence too ya?
Wondering if any OB students know who Robert House is,
Brian Thomas Lim
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I have a little secret.
Like all little secrets, it clings at the edge of your mind.
It niggles at my grey matter, wanting to get out.
It wants to be known to the world, but most importantly,
it wants to be known to whom it may concern.
Is this one different from the others?
Well it depends.
Will I have the guts to say it out?
Friday, August 17, 2007
I will say it again, gosh do I like OB.
If I take a step back and leisurely read the contents of it, I would really enjoy the psychological content it has there. It talks about the way people behave and why they behave that way. Like I said before, the only reason why I didn't seriously consider going for Psychology and Community service in NP is well... the community service part. I'm not really that kinda guy.
So anyways for some reason I'm actually happy about the progress of revision. CIP is really about informed crapping (I'm sure the word can almost be considered an oxymoron), knowing your terms and basic info and talk about it from your perspective. Same goes for OB I guess. Except of course the pressure to get an AD for it, both from my lecturer and peers.
Tomorrow marks the start of revision of MIEC, which might seem bad if not for the fact that MIEC is the module I pay most attention to consistently, so not many worries there.
And from the feedback I've gathered, not many people have the motivation to study. Same goes for me. It's as if the doom and gloom of being cooped up at home drained my ambition of scoring ADs. I so wish I was back at classes. Either that or holidays, cause the difference between holidays and study break is that for one of them, you can't slack without feeling guilty.
Waiting for 'Ask a ninja' to load while writing this post,
Brian Thomas Lim
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
New record set today. I have walked out to bus stop and back home from bus stop, twice today. Which translates into: Went out in the morning to see doc, afterwhich i took a bus back home from AMK hub and walked back in. Left the house like 6 hours later to go for mass and then took a bus back and walked back in.
Back and forth, back and forth. The only reason why i didn't stay out was because i had nothing to do outside for 6 hours. And also because i hate eating lunch alone.
Not that having lunch at home meant eating with someone else. I mean no one was at home except my 'auntie' but i ate by myself. It's just the comfort of being somewhere you belong to that takes away the loneliness of having a meal by yourself.
Oh and today was CIP. What did i do? Just read through, and hope that my crapping skills are still intact. Meh.
Wishing that my attention span would vastly increase to allow me to study properly,
Brian Thomas Lim
Monday, August 13, 2007
Note to self: Never tell rastus if you like any girl in the future.
I mean if you can live with his constant reminders during any and every conversation that you like a particular person and why you haven't told her about it yet, please go ahead and tell him.
Hahaha, not really complaining though. Great friend to talk to in any situation, though his constant reminders does make me cringe every once in a while.
So anyway besides receiving a call from rastus and exchanging smses with someone who needed a break in monotony caused by the exam blues, revision was the focus of the day.
Business Statistics to be exact. I've read up on the fundementals and what's left is to regain my sharpness for math and I'll be set for this paper.
Needing a good nights sleep desperately,
Brian Thomas Lim
Sunday, August 12, 2007
It's going to start proper. No more fooling around, time to get serious.
Mind over matter, eye on the goal, persevere, mug.
8 days, 4 modules. 2 needing a final look through for assurance, 2 needing attention yet not too much.
So much at stake: a good headstart and a shout out to the competition, "Bring it on."
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Seriously speaking, week 1 of study break was near 0% productivity. Any attempts to follow the plan was thrown out of the window near the start of its inception.
I guess I would say that I can't remember things for long, thus studying too early for memory-intensive subjects is not a very smart idea. Nonetheless, having 8 days left is good enough motivation to study. I won't repeat the same mistake of starting off by studying the boring/never revise much subjects. No, I'll first stoke my interest by studying the subjects I love/am good at.
Oh and I'll probably still update for the next week. Studying hard doesn't mean not using the laptop at all. Everyone's gotta have a break, law of diminishing marginal returns says so!
Hoping that action would follow these tough words,
Brian Thomas Lim
Saturday, August 11, 2007
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article1403702.ece
Apparently reports of any unification is greatly exgerated, which is a real pity. At least Anglican and Catholic Bishops are trying to work towards unification. Sounds nice, yea.
Lesser debates for me if it happens, heh.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Often my taste in music has been criticised. Well I'll say it out now. I like Mika's songs (2 of his songs anyway, love today and grace kelly, haven't heard the rest), my chemical romance and so many others (which if I'm not wrong is mostly pop).
What defines good music? What makes you a music critic? Sheesh.
Good music in my opinion are songs that can express the mood you're feeling right now perfectly. E.g. I think MCR's 'I don't love you' is a pretty good breakup song? If I get it correctly.
Mika's music IMO, makes you feel energetic and wanna do something totally random. What's wrong with that? Just because he sings in a falsetto, he's gay and by extension his music and people who listen to it/like it are gay too?
And what makes you think the music you listen to is good and better?
If anything, good music are songs that you like to hear, simple as that. Now stop turning up ya noses and telling me that the music you listen to is better than the ones i hear.
Hoping that my message is getting across to music snobs,
Brian Thomas Lim
P.S. Mika's album, Life in Cartoon Motion Chart positions: #1 European Top 100, #1 UK, #1 France, #1 Norway, #2 Belgium, #2 Switzerland, #2 Ireland, #2 Canada, #29 US, #2 UWC, #11 Spain
Which I'm sure is doing wayyyy better than many of the supposed 'better' artistes.
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!
You should have your flags up or the governemtn will come a'knocking'.
Heh.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Wednesday. Start of revision proper. But I really don't feel like studying at all.
And it's CIP. For some reason, studying technology isn't even a quarter as fun as using it. How on earth am I gonna get A for this module?
I think the reason why studying seems so dreary right now is that it's the main focus of the day. There's nothing else to look forward too, unless you count the times I might play halo on my computer later. When there were tutorials/lectures, at least you got to interact with your classmates, walk about, have lunch, find a seat in a packed canteen to have lunch, all among doing so many things you only realise when you're bored at home.
So I guess studying outside with friends does have a good point after all. Not due to the lack of effort, but I guess I'm on my own this time. How am I gonna summon energy to steel myself to study for my first semestral examinations? Even MSN has gone boring for me, I don't know who to talk to just for company.
Never mind. 13 more days to exams, not that far away.
___________________________________________________________________
On the other hand, the holidays and semester 2 looks pretty interesting. I'll have red camp to look forward to in semester 2 (which I was picked to represent BA. Heh, lucky me.) a slew of youth activties in the holidays and many other things. Though I know I'll spend most of my hols on the computer, as usual.
Wishing for something to break the monotony,
Brian Thomas Lim
Monday, August 6, 2007
I was going to write something very emo. No, doesn't help my mental stability.
I'm alive, have friends, loved by family and perhaps some friends. It's more than what many have.
Trying to drill that into my head.
OMG. Only 2 weeks until exams. In those 2 weeks i have to perfect my understanding of MIEC, be flawless in Biz stats, gather a basic understanding of CIP and master the fine art of psychology in the business field, organisational behaviour.
I guess with proper time management done early i.e. later today, i can and will be fully prepared for my first examinations in Ngee ann. But that's the problem. I'm usually one who plans ahead but very rarely sticks to the schedule. Randomness should be my middle name. One minute i can be doing MIEC, the next i could be at neopets earning neopoints to invest in the stock market.
I'm starting to develop doubts about my preparation for exams. CIP is a headache given that i never consistently study for it and have to mug for it now. OB can be hard due to the different expectations from the different lecturers marking it. I could jolly well suffer a mental block/nervous breakdown during the MIEC and biz stats exams. So much pressure is upon me to do well, both from myself and from others.
Pray. That's the cure. Pray for wisdom and guidance and a whole lot of discipline for the upcoming 2 weeks.
P.S. I doubt anyone would want to but anybody interested in studying with me? Revising at home can be very boring and very anti-motivational.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
I fell asleep for 2.5 hours when it was supposed to be a 30 min nap. Oh well, that means i can stay up slightly past 12 having had a mini-sleep from 5-7.30.
There's something about my psychological make-up which i hate. I've noticed that a small tinny weeny crush can develop into something more potent like a serious infatuation when my mind has vain little ideas of what could be.
It's like when someone comments that you and a girl look like compatible together. At first my mind would dismiss it but at the back of my mind gears are moving into action. Aided by the fact that my subconscious craves attention to the possibility of a relationship, a minor unimportant thought ballons into a mind-occupying thought.
I swear my mind's a battlefield. On one side is calm, cold logic and on the other is the free-spirited idealism. I don't know which is better, to be pessimistic/real or optimistic and hopeful?
Oh yea, just a word to my classmates who read my blog. There's no truth as to any rumours that have been going around about me. I mean i can see why they began in the first place but i can assure you nothing is going on. Not that i'm personally bothered by rumours but spare a thought for others who might be uncomfortable about it.
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Oh and i was rather glad when i saw samantha's post on her blog like 2 days ago. I'm glad my class had fun kayaking and aiming for me (which as of now i still have no idea why they would bother targeting me). I guess it kinda makes up for the time we were really really stagnant as a class and i'm just glad people had fun in a time where studying for the exams can be really stressful. Cheers to my class, a class of un-fulfilled potential, heh.
Realising that writing about personal stuff makes you feel liberated,
Brian Thomas Lim
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
